Jealousy

Love is not jealous. In fact, there is almost nothing that can suffocate a good feeling between two people faster, or with more certainty, than jealousy. It is, however, one of the easiest human emotions to understand. Jealousy stems from insecurity, and insecurity comes from feelings and thoughts of inadequacy. One of the only ways a person can create feelings of inadequacy is to first compare himself or herself to others.

It's important to accept the fact that there is always going to be someone out there who has something you do not - more money, better looks, greater charisma, a longer list of achievements, or whatever. So what? Good for them.

Stop comparing yourself to others and you'll be amazed at how much better you'll feel about yourself. Remember, you have also been gifted with unique talents and attributes that others don't enjoy. Spend your mental energy focusing on these gifts, and be grateful for your own ability to make a contribution.

Try to embrace the idea that one person will not fill all of your needs, nor will you fill all of theirs. And that's okay. We are here to share our life energy with others; to grow and be nurtured, to nurture and grow.

When you find yourself feeling insecure or having feelings of inadequacy, try to gently reflect on your thoughts. See if you are busy comparing yourself to others. Are you making up stories that exist only in your mind? If you can cast away jealousy, you will experience a freedom from insecurity that will nurture your relationship forever.

- An excerpt from Don't Sweat the Small Stuff in Love by Richard Carlson